I’m Christi, and I’m a 30 year old (wait, when did that happen?) Florida girl, wife, Gator fan, web designer, cat lover, and plenty of other things. I’m also pretty terrible at introducing myself. If you met me in person, I would be standing around looking a bit awkward and saying very little, unless I was already on my third drink and you happened to be friendly enough to bring me out of my shell. I am better than I once was, but my self-admitted biggest flaw is that I’ll always be way too shy around new people. That’s why I fell in love with the internet when I first started hitting chat rooms back in the mid 90’s. I was free to talk to anyone, and I could form my words the way I wanted without the wrong ones stumbling out of my mouth due to nervousness.
Since then, I have started several blogs here and there beginning with LiveJournal about a decade ago. Writing has always been an important outlet for me. But I’ve also kept most of it somewhat private. My blogs have never been announced to many people I know, and I did little to try to gain readers since I was really writing for myself and wasn’t sure I wanted a big audience. I can be a bit of a perfectionist when I am really into something, so I’ll go full steam ahead = full control. Then, if something doesn’t go right or I get tired of it, I might hide it from view or drop it altogether = no control. This is my all-or-nothing mindset tendency, which leads us to the topic of this blog.
Like many people, I feel like I’ve been a yo-yo dieter all my life. I’ve never been a thin person, though I’ve gotten close to normal weight several times. Every year, I start off strong and lose around 20-30 lbs from January-April. The largest loss was 63 pounds in 2007, when I stayed in control almost the entire year. Thank goodness I haven’t gotten too close to my all time high ever again. But most years, I start getting comfortable during the summer, slipping up but mostly maintaining, until September hits. Then football season and all the birthdays inspire many pina coladas, pizza, and gator cookies (EXCUSES), and the weight steadily packs on through fall and the holidays because I’ve completely given up caring. In January, I’m disgusted with my behavior and have to start over again.
I don’t usually follow actual diet plans, except for the couple of times I did Atkins. I have been very successful at losing weight just by planning out my meals to be healthier and sticking to the plan no matter what, and exercising a lot more. I don’t specifically count calories because I can easily get obsessed with perfection, but I imagine I’m loosely doing something close to Weight Watchers. The problem is when I lose control due to my ridiculous love of creating and eating great food, I have a very hard time chalking it up to one mistake and moving on.
I try to break this cycle every single year. Honestly, my “diet” plan is quite livable. I don’t cut out anything I love completely, and I’m usually pretty happy when I’m on track. I don’t go out to eat nearly as much or have as many parties, but I take up other activities to keep me occupied. It’s just never enough. Maybe I have some small but persistent addiction to being self-destructive. I don’t know. But I’m hoping recognizing and announcing my flaws can help me face them.
I want this blog to be the first one that I actually stick with. I think the way to make that happen is to get over wanting to hide things and try to gain an audience. If I’m held accountable for my actions, I do better. And, if I can help inspire or just commiserate with a few people, I know that will work wonders too.
I’m not sure yet the exact style this blog will adopt. During “on track” times, I read dozens of healthy living blogs. They range from every detail of the blogger’s life to just food and exercise logs. I’m imagining this will be somewhere in the middle, and hopefully it will provide something a little different and worth reading. I am not going to dig into every aspect of my personal life (or even every bite of food I eat), but I didn’t create this for just a place to list stats. I can use a spreadsheet for that.
So, thank you if you’ve read this far. I hope you’ll follow me on my journey, and if you’re writing about one of your own, I’d love to hear about it!