Today I’ve been thinking more about my all-or-nothing tendencies. I don’t know why this became such an ingrained part of my personality, but it really seems impossible to loosen the reins this mindset has on me.
At the moment, I’m thinking about exercise. It’s like, getting in a workout 5-6 days a week is not enough for me. I also have to make every single one of those workouts at least an hour. If not, it isn’t even worth it. This is ridiculous, and I know that, yet I still feel this way.
Yesterday I did 30 Day Shred for the first time this year. Including warm up and cool down, one level of the video is only 25 minutes. That was all I did for the day. It really showed me how much my fitness level has slipped. I gave it about 95% of my maximum effort level, and it was a killer workout. Today, my arms and legs are sore. Yet, somehow in the back of my mind I am still thinking I need to make up for that extra time I didn’t do. And today, I walked/jogged for only 51 minutes (because I needed to have time to take a shower and go run an errand before cooking dinner), and that doesn’t seem like enough either.
I really need to stop this thinking. I’ve been back to working out for only 3 weeks. There was not much easing in; I jumped right in and didn’t look back. Which is great, but… I have to give myself a break, mentally. Any workout is a step in the right direction.
I am just trying to go so full steam ahead, and for the most part I feel great and it’s working, but I also wonder how fast I’m going to burn out and start slipping and give up again.
Anyway, just getting out some thoughts and trying to recognize where I start going wrong.